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Lisa Bevere

John Bevere

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She Said Yes: Empowering Women in Marriage


08 Jul She Said Yes: Empowering Women in Marriage

Two weeks after I shared this message with our team, I was on vacation in Southern California when the news broke about Elliot Rodger and the UCSB shooting. I was overwhelmed as I read articles and watched reports about this troubled young college student, a man so consumed with hatred of women that he killed or injured nineteen people before taking his own life.

Elliot Rodger began his autobiographical account by saying, “All of my suffering on this world has been at the hands of humanity, particularly women.”* What a far cry from the Genesis 2:18 designation for women, ezer kenegdo, which as authors John and Stasi Eldredge have shared, might be best translated “life-saver.”**

I do my best to pay attention to issues of gender and how they’re being handled in our world. My understanding of these issues is nowhere near complete, but I know enough to be sure that the values our culture presents to both sexes are profoundly insufficient. Not every perversion of gender results in a string of homicides, but the consequences of less obvious distortions often reach further than we recognize.

When I was first preparing this message, I was uncertain that it was the right time or that I was the right person to share it. Could a single girl say anything of value about men and women empowering each other in marriage?

Recent events remind me that we have to tell a better story for both genders. Not just a better story. God’s story, the one He planned from our Eden start. And that’s a story all of us can—and must—tell. Marriage is a uniquely powerful place to start.

There is much more going on than bad people doing bad things. In the so-called battle of the sexes, neither men nor women are the enemy. The enemy is the enemy. People are people, and God loves people. And He urges His people to love one another.

So I ask you to hear it from the single girl:

To those who are single, dating, engaged, newlywed, or well into marriage;

To my peers and to those older and wiser than we are;

To those who believe something is amiss and to those who think everything seems fine—

Please pay attention. Please be open to reconsider some things you may have always taken for granted. Please take some time to seek out God’s heart on this subject. And please be prayerful, intentional, dedicated, and strategic in reflecting His heart in your marriage. How you live will tell our world how He loves.

PROLOGUE is a series of free messages on marriage by members of the Messenger International team.

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  • Lesley-Anne Murray
    Posted at 12:50h, 08 July Reply

    When I my husband and I were going through leadership training in our church we were asked to share our God-given dreams with our mentors. My husband already knew the vision God had given me a year earlier so I shared it with this couple in front of him; a vision for family reconciliation, restoration and healing in our nation through knowing the Father heart of God. They were silent. For long enough to be really, really uncomfortable. Then the man, our mentor, friend and our daughter’s godfather, laughed, joined by his wife and then my husband, before he turned to my husband and said, “And where do you fit in there then?” Six months later it came out that my husband was having an affair and I was guilty by association and pulled out of leadership in the church. I will never remarry; to do so would be to hand over my dreams and power over my life and that of my children.

  • Sheri Thomas
    Posted at 13:15h, 08 July Reply

    Wow… Thank you for saying yes & encouraging me to do the same! I so love what God is doing in your heart & your willingness to share/speak the truth he is giving you… It resonates deep with me & calls for more hope/courage to say yes again. Bless you, Jaylynn. I needed that!

    • Jaylynn Widmark
      Jaylynn Widmark
      Posted at 09:24h, 21 July Reply

      Sheri, thank you! It was an honor to share.

  • Tsjitske tubbs
    Posted at 02:58h, 09 July Reply

    This message spoke to my heart and resounds in my spirit! Thank you for speaking up and encouraging me that I am not the only one with questions about the call of women in marriage and the kingdom, thank you for sharing God’s heart for his sons and daughters! As I have a daughter I am so pleased to tell her that she does have value and that we as women can say yes to God and to our husbands without having to diminish in any way, but to become image bearers together. Great message.

    • Jaylynn Widmark
      Jaylynn Widmark
      Posted at 09:24h, 21 July Reply

      Amen! Thank you for sharing.

  • Theresa Doghor
    Posted at 05:19h, 09 July Reply

    I listened to your podcast.
    It is amazing!

    Loved it and I followed you on twitter too
    I am looking forward to more resources.

  • Annemie Burke
    Posted at 12:49h, 12 July Reply

    While watching the elephant family at ethosa, namibie. I saw how hard the male elephant worked at keeping order and how exhausted he stood as the waterhole long after the tribe left just resting from his responsibilities. How the female elephant cared for the little elephants. Most important how playful the mom interacted with the bull. So much Godly order in nature. I needed to repent from thinking my husband do less of the work in organizing the family. He takes all the responsibility and i can just relax under his protection. My eyes was also opened to being more playful with your mate. The flirting seemed to give the bull energy to carry on with his responsibility.

  • Nontle D Thebs
    Posted at 23:40h, 15 July Reply

    I have grown myself each time I read a sentence from your epilogue on the ‘story of marriage’ . I am gettiing an insight on Gods purpose on marriage. I am learning to grow closer to my husband as we share , serve each other with understanding that God is to be glorified with our marriage. Continue with the good work, God will really reward your serving Him through the story of marriage. Nontle

  • Trish
    Posted at 03:55h, 20 July Reply

    Thank you Jaylynn. Listened to She Said Yes – some jewells of wisdom..I love how you have expressed that which God has placed on your heart. I’ll definitely be listening to it again.

    • Jaylynn Widmark
      Jaylynn Widmark
      Posted at 09:23h, 21 July Reply

      Thank you, Trish! So glad this message encouraged you.

  • Nashuda Augustine
    Posted at 00:55h, 08 August Reply

    Wow I just finished listen to your podcast and I am utterly blown away by your message. I am a single woman as well who will be 36 in a few weeks.

    For a while I used to think what about me Lord? in terms of being married, but then I realized that being single in this season is a privilege. This is a time when I can focus solely on what God is doing in my life, what he is trying to show me, what needs to be worked on. There are still parts of my heart, and life that still need to be mended and this is a perfect season to allow the Lord to do just that.

    If I were to be completely honest, I am not even remotely ready for marriage even though I want to be married. I think I would be doing God and my future husband a disservice if I didn’t take this time to spiritually grow in my walk with God. Educating myself on what a godly marriage should be and what it should look like is a good place to start in terms of preparation.

    Instead of saying what about me? I am learning to say use me Lord in this season. Your prayer was powerful, and your insight on how men and women should be in a marriage and in society has been very informative, spiritually guiding, and incredibly encouraging!

    Thank you!

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